Sometimes Laughter IS the best medicine.
"It's funny what kids hear
us adults say sometimes...
night at bedtime we were talking about different people we need to
remember in our prayers, and our son mentioned a girl about whom
they had apparently made an announcement at school. A girl in
kindergarten who was "born death," he said. Near as we
could figure, he meant someone in kindergarten had had a stillborn
sibling. No, it was the kindergartner herself who was
"born death" and she was "still death." We
were so puzzled! Then he explained, "But to help her not
be death, they put eggplants in her ears."
The above story was part of
a message on the CI-Circle listserv and is
used with permission.
This is something I spied in a book my son
99 More Useless Japanese Inventions by Kenji Kawakami. The text reads:
* Forget batteries and
wires, hear a crisp new sound
Who says that
the humble, hand-crafted Art of Chindogu can't compete with the
mass-produced technological wonders being churned out by those electronic
manufacturing giants? The Ear Extender is a sturdily built, water-resistant,
battery-free hearing aid that's virtually fool-proof and guaranteed to work
whatever the circumstances. No transistors to fiddle with, no cells to
charge, and you'll never have to worry about losing these down the drain!
Vendor Wearing Speakers
Karaoke For The
The Latest In Hearing Aids
Mondegreen - a mistake one makes hearing something, mistaking it
for something else. The following Mondegreens are either ones most of us hear
when listening to music, or rather unique ones, as you will see. In a parent's
discussion group I belong to we were sharing these and decided they were too
hysterical to keep to ourselves. Enjoy!
- Songs give rise to the most mondegreens, with the famous, "There's a
bathroom on the right," (CCR: "There's a bad moon on the
rise,") and "'Scuse me while I kiss this guy," (Jimmy
Hendrix: "'Scuse me while I kiss the sky.") Not to mention the
mondegreens associated with the Pledge of Allegiance: ". . .one naked
individual with liver tea and just rice for all." (. . .one nation,
indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.) Of course, there are
those favorite hymns: "Gladly, the cross-eyed bear," and "Oh,
what a friend we have in cheeses."
- You know that song....I Second That Emotion (from
Big Chill Soundtrack). My niece was singing it one day as "Sexy Man in
- My mom thought that the BeeGee's song "More than a Woman" was
"Bald-Headed Woman" and could not for the LIFE of her figure out
why anyone would be singing about such a thing.
- Our best (or worst!) experience with such things, when our daughter was a
bit younger and her dance group danced to the song "Do the Funky
Cowboy", she very proudly was singing "do the F___ Cowboy".
We cleared that one up quickly!
- When saying Grace, instead of saying, "Thank you God for daily
bread" our son used to say, "Thank you God for Lady Red"
- Me..... "Goddess great, Goddess good." I still remember finding
out it was "GOD IS GREAT." I didn't even know what a goddess was
at the time. I had no idea what in the world I was saying!!!!
- Our daughter just had one the other night, and I just about choked when
she asked me about it. She is in Kindergarten this year, and they are
learning about reptiles in science. We were watching TV, and that commercial
about ED (erectile dysfunction) came on. After it was over, she came up to
me and asked, "Mom, why do they say 'This is the face of a reptile's
dysfunction?' We're learning about reptiles in school, and none of those
guys look like snakes to me!" Now tell me, how do I explain "a
reptile's dysfunction" to a 5 year old???
- Our hearing daughter was always good for these. I have forgotten it
exactly now but I remember her Pledge of Allegiance ended with "...One
Nation in the garden..." She also used to sing Frosty the snowman with
"two eyes made out of cold".
- My husband was telling me that when he was a kid he thought the Star
Spangled Banner was "Oh save us that star spangled banner..."
rather than Oh say does that star spangled banner.
- Here are two of my mondegreens heard from my daughter - "While Shepard's
washed their socks by night" instead of watched their flocks,
"Give us this day our gravy and bread" instead of give us this day
our daily bread.
If you've enjoyed these, you'll find more Mondegreens on these other
Errors occur in Captioning of CC-TV all the time. Here are some that we
have seen or that have been reported to us:
- During the local News on the sports segment: "The doll
fingers are taking off." (The Dolphins are taking off).
- During the Olympics: ``Hung Aryan swimmers.'' (Hungarian Swimmers).
- During the 2000 Presidential Elections: "His running meat." (His
- "Hump-free Bogart." (Humphrey Bogart)
- Here are just some of the errors that were seen during
a single episode of 20/20
- ...depends upon camels & keir seen. (kerosene)
- ...banished some stereo types. (stereotypes)
- ...took part in the fear oggs attack. (ferocious
- ...you're about to fine out. (find out)
- ...a hotbed ofx tremism. (of extremism)
- ...he did so with avengence. (a vengeance)
- ...if you gave a thault to... (a thought to)
- ...your royal hines....(your royal highness)
- "Saying things you're unfortunate with." (uncomfortable
I'm not making fun of CART providers, just smiling at some of the things that
end up on the screen due to the complexity of the system and
the English language.
The Practice by Jenny Loehr M.A.
CCC-SLP - A cartoon for and about Speech Pathologists and Audiologists
The Night Before HoH Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even a mouse
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes they'd be stuffed with new ALDS to wear
We all were nestled all snug in our beds,
Our hearing aids lay next to our heads
And I in my kerchief, and Pa in his cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long Silent nap
When our on the lawn
there arose such a clatter,
But I couldn't hear, so what did it matter
When grumpy ol' Pa poked me awake
I said "Go back to bed, for goodness sake!"
But he pulled me from bed to show me the sight
Of the moon shining on
snow in the mid-winter's night
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But jolly St. Nick with an aid in each ear
And eight tiny reindeer with a sleigh to pull,
Crammed full of presents for us all to mull.
I threw up the sash and yelled "Hi St. Nick!"
But he didn't hear, didn't hear me a lick
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled and waved and signed them by name,
"Now Dasher! Now Dancer! Now Prancer and Vixen!
On Comet! On Cupid! On Donder and Blixen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!
So up to the housetop the coursers they flew,
With a sleigh full of ALDs, and St. Nicholas too
And then in a twinkling, I felt on the roof
The prancing the pawing of each little hoof.
As I put on my aids and turned on the sound,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of ALDs he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes - how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His mouth was hidden by a fluffy white beard
I couldn't read his lips, so he couldn't be heared!
His battery pack has held tight in his teeth,
As he ripped it open and tripped over a wreath.
The batteries clattered all over the floor,
He crawled all around and found them by the door.
"Ah!" he sighed, as he put them in
"It sure feels good to hear again!"
He stood up tall and glanced all around
Searching to see if he had yet been found.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself.
With a wink of his eye and a sign of good cheer,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to fear.
He spoke not a word but went straight to work
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
His eyes twinkled knowing I would be pleased
Finding my stockings filled with A L D's
And before he rose up the chimney to part,
He signed this message with all his heart,
"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL
AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!"
Curious to know what people who are
hard of hearing have to go through with their every day communication? Here's
a humorous passage that may give you just a bit of insight.
This passage is not really about a hard of hearing person trying to communicate,
but it does give the reader an idea of the frustrations faced by breakdowns in